2002-11-12 - 9:48 a.m.

Update: It appears I'm cultivating a caffeine addiction (thank you very much, diet Vanilla Coke). Witness what happens when I check my email as my morning coffee takes effect (Is the new, caffeinated me a total bitch? you decide):

In case I ever need an editor, I suppose I know where to find one. Send me unsolicited advice/copy my idea, write my own entry for me, and send it back to me, and you're asking for trouble:

"here are my thoughts (unasked for) about you last diary entry [haymarket]:

i would say you might want to consider adding more visual images.

i like the format, i like the entry, thats why i am writing this,

but i think some strong images might strengthen it.

you describe a scene, and you give facts, but some of what you say doesnt put much

of a picture in my head.

like 'remains' 'rotting goods' 'wasted commercial landscape'

what does a wasted commercial landscape look like exactly?

if you asked me before i read the entry, i would have no idea.

i like the wilting cardboard. i remembered that image afterwards.

i can see it, i know its texture, you can almost smell it.

but anyhow.

instead of giving information that is factually correct but not very sensual,

i would drop in more pictures, even if you dont include

all the background information - i think it might still carry the story you want to tell.

let the reader piece it together.

example:

As the sellers pack up wooden crates and disperse, the street is still littered with vegetable fragments like a produce-bomb went off. Under cover of darkness, cabbages and carrots are cleared away by waste trucks and bulldozers. Hours later, the place still reeks like a maggot filled dumpster on a hot summer day.

or something like that.

i am not your writing teacher. i am not the authority on the subject.

i am not even guaranteeing this would improve the piece. just an idea to consider."

this is a fucking free-form blog, not a five-star essay. but don't take it personally, mpr. you know i like to stir shite up just as much as you do.

say what? - mas y mas!

© 2004 mine, not yours